Sunday, April 12, 2009

Intelligent Design Run Amok

So far, I’ve lost my speech, and my voice is fading away fast. Now my opposable thumbs are going. That’s ten gazillion years of evolution down the drain right there.

It’s not easy getting from a one-celled amoeba to me (and to you, too, of course). Once they wiggled out of the ocean, I’m sure our ancestors wore their butts off just getting rid of the fishy smell, then they had to invent sex (and it obviously wasn’t the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree who came up with our present system), grow body fur, then change their minds and get rid of it (must have been in a hurry on this one, as they missed a few spots), learn to walk on their hind legs, and finally -- tah dah -- invent credit default swaps and the amusing concept of “toxic assets.”

Anyway, ALS is certainly a good argument against intelligent design: if we had been designed intelligently, all our parts would wear out at the same time, not one at a time in agonizing slow motion. Or, even better, they wouldn’t wear out at all. Plus we wouldn’t have all these left-over appendages and organs.

Intelligent Designer Fans: S’plain the appendix. Even its name indicates this was never going to be one of the major players in the body. But it has no purpose whatsoever except to rupture occasionally and try to kill us. That is its sole function. What do you think the I.D. had in mind for it when he stuck it in there? Was it something like the forgetful surgeon leaving a sponge behind in your abdomen? Another “Oops Moment” of creation? Or did all the other organs not fit right, so he had to invent a little filler organ that does nothing just to keep things from rattling around?

What about wisdom teeth? What intelligent designer would put more teeth in our mouths than our mouths have room for, so the first thing we have to do when they appear is run and have them removed?

Or, male-pattern baldness? Cellulite? Color-blindness?

More importantly, ... if we were lovingly created by an Intelligent Designer, why did he invent cells that turn malignant? I call that a really serious design flaw.
And to be really serious: Why would our Intelligent Designer invent childhood cancers? Explain the design principle behind that.

I have no problem with a Higher Power ... my HP and I get along swell, and I call on him/her throughout the day and night ... but as far as the human body goes and its disabilities, failures of function, malignancies, and generally SNAFU-ness, it seems much more likely that we were cobbled together over the millennia by hit-and-miss, trial-and-error, spit-and-baling wire evolutionary forces. The human body is not something I would hold up as a sterling example of intelligent planning.

I can see it maybe designed by GM, but that’s as far as I’ll go.